I am Oyama Botha a Miss Curvy from South Africa, who is passionate about empowering women first and men to love themselves radically, whether big or small .Furthermore, advocating that societal opinions about yourself shouldn't hinder on your progress in life towards achieving the BEST YOU.
I am often known for breaking society's "rules" on what should be perceived as the normative yardstick of how a beautiful woman should be like.
#RadicalSelfLove is thee hash tag.
How I accidentally healed my relationship with my physical self—I trust that you too can.
The history of my long estrangement from my body started early.
Self-Love for me, has always been the fact that I would be able to be comfortable despite all "flaws" I thought/ think I possess.However, due to the dreadful estrangement, it took too long for me to find healing with my physical self.
Today, I am able to look back at this and smile, because I know that had I not been the "she so big won’t nobody even try to reach her mind" (Jill Scott-The Thickness) girl. I wouldn't be the Oyama I am today. I SMILE WIDER knowing that the journey I am on even got to a point whereby people who have known me since primary school years would often tell me "you weren't like this, what happened?" and those who recently got to know me are continuing to inspire me by their beautiful stories of how I inspire them.
To those who continue asking me as to how I "do it?", well I wish I had the answers to that, but perhaps it is because of the realisation of how cruel I was to my body and not coming into terms with the realisation that I only have this one body in which I need to embrace because I OWED that to myself after the time I wasted in the irony of hating my body.
When I look at the path to radical self love that I am heading, I need to constantly remind myself to never be ashamed of trying to heal, as we are all fearful and immoral and desperately longing for our own body acceptance.In addition, Warson states "if our secrets are secrets because we are told to be ashamed, then we must share them". Hence, its important for me not to be apologetic for words, imagery or anything that could heal another person's estrangement to themselves.
"The estrangement I had with my body made me despise my OWN body, which in irony is very cruel...I am sorry Oyama"
Only words I am left to say to my physical self is : I AM SORRY, All of me was lonely, simply because society stated that you were the reason behind the rejection to the "ideal beauty". This saddened me and enforced the dreadful loneliness, which then drove me to pour out all that anger on you, as you disgusted me by the mirror image you portrayed. BUT now I know that you did NOT and NEVER will deserve such treatment again.
I call this the "accidental" route to physical radical self love, because till this day, I cannot thoroughly explain how I got to the point whereby I was able to finally forgive myself for being cruel to my body However, to all those girls,ladies and women and MEN who suffer from estrangement with their bodies due to disorders, poor self-image, self doubt, self loathing, and lack of confidence,be KIND and SAY SORRY to yourself ...
I hope my choice to NOT to keep quite about the secrets we are told to be ashamed about can inspire you to finally forgive yourself and begin your radical self love journey...you DESERVE it BEAUTIFUL :)
"It got to a point whereby society enforced me to reach a
point when I became so obsessed with annihilate everything, even my own body…I
am NOW learning to be kind to my body"
MOST importantly, remember that you were fearfully and wonderfully made in His image, therefore the opinions your mirror image is reflecting are null and void